Bible Study | Why Do We Give Thanks?

Bible Study, Lifestyle

Psalm 28:7

Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my [impenetrable] shield; My heart trusts [with unwavering confidence] in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I shall thank Him and praise Him.

Flashback to summer 2018, I started working as a preschool teacher with the most vibrant and fiery group of toddlers I’ve ever met. It was my first job after graduating college and I was definitely looking forward to becoming the best teacher ever! Apart from teaching the kids the days of the week or the months and seasons of the year, the head teacher insisted on making it a priority to teach the kids manners. Obviously I could see why that would be an important lesson among others. However, when it came to manners, she would literally stop the entire class for a learning moment to emphasize the importance of a please and thank you.

One evening while supervising a small group of two year olds, one of the other teachers brought in some snacks to share with the kids. They all gathered around the table as she gave each child a cookie and some chips but no one said thank you at first, until she gave the last child his cookie and chips. Finally, someone said thank you and then of course they all chimed in saying “Thank You Miss Lisa” except for one. Since he was known for being defiant and rebellious, initially I didn’t want to force him to say thank you so I asked him, “Aren’t you going to tell Miss Lisa thank you?” He looked at me while nibbling on his cookie and asked “Why?” Keep in mind, this was still during my first month working there and this was a child who didn’t really know me that well either. Apparently he felt comfortable enough to question me, staring right back at me with his big blue eyes.

To be honest with you, that caught me a little off guard so I asked the other kids “Why do we say ‘please’ and ‘thank you?’” They all looked at me puzzled, one kid eventually said “because Miss Gina said so!” I interrupted him by trying to explain that we say ‘thank you’ to show gratitude but then I thought to myself, they’re two, maybe I should make it simpler. I explained to them that Miss Lisa didn’t have to share her snacks and we should be grateful that she thought of us and wanted to share with us. I also asked about how they felt when they randomly got cookies and chips late in the evening, which was quite unusual for their after school routine. One kid said “Happy” another said “Excited” and Henry, staring at me with his big blue eyes said that he felt like singing and dancing!

Have you ever really took into consideration all that God does for us and the role He plays in our lives? Have you ever thought about why we should glorify God, give thanks and sing praises to His name? Of course it’s easy to give thanks when God shows up in our time of need and obviously we’d want to sing and dance like Henry did when God blesses us with our hearts desires. Although, understanding the ultimate reason why we should give thanks to God would definitely strengthen our relationship with Him and give purpose to living a life that glorifies His name. We shouldn’t just give thanks to God because the pastor said so or Mom said so or because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to do. Here in Psalm 28:7, David explains that God gives His people strength, protection and help to persevere and that we can all trust that God will always be there for us. I’m certainly guilty of forgetting why and when we should give thanks to God. In the past, I used to only give thanks to God when I’d see His work materialize in my life. But is that truly honoring Him and thanking Him for who He is? Or am I only being thankful because I know what He can do for me? Isn’t it interesting that this scripture says “The Lord IS my strength and my shield” instead of ‘gives me strength’ and ‘gives me a shield?’ As my relationship with God grows, I pray that I learn to appreciate Him more and more and thank Him fervently everyday just because of who He is. That, to me, is the real reason why we should give thanks.

Bible Study | The Little Voice in My Head

Bible Study, Lifestyle

Jeremiah 17:10

Jeremiah 17:10 I, the Lord, search and examine the mind, I test the heart, To give each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.

For the past few years or so, ever since graduating Secondary school, I would often have dreams where a random little voice in my head would try to compensate my lack of spiritual dedication by commending me for my worldly accomplishments. From getting good CXC grades to getting a scholarship to getting degrees! And sometimes this little voice would even try to compliment me on how incredible I was for being independent and doing it all on my own; as if isolation and loneliness was some sort of prize.

Throughout my spiritual struggle, I would sometimes find myself having to wrestle away my worldly desires. Anytime I’d fall short, the little voice would always pop up in an attempt to reassure me that God knows my heart, trying to convince me to pretend that despite my actions that were unpleasing to God, everything would be okay. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I used to agree with that voice. After all I’m sure God would be proud of how smart and responsible I’ve become. However, soon enough, this little voice became less of a motivator and more of an enabler.

This little voice, which I now consider a pest, was only good for making excuses. I wish I had recognized sooner how those useless compliments inhibited my walk with God. Lately, during my interactions with God, while examining my life, I’ve noticed that I barely have anything to show when it comes to fruits of the spirit. Have I really made it anywhere in my spiritual journey if my fruits of the spirit are still little seedlings hanging on for dear life? I am grateful for all the strides and successes I’ve been blessed to achieve in my life thus far but I honestly have a burning desire to grow spiritually as well. As I continue my walk with God I pray that the results of my spiritual journey would be indicative of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Travel | Hello Trinidad & Tobago

Food, Lifestyle, Travel
It Feels Good to be Home

Although I left Trinidad for New York to pursue a college education and career opportunities, I can’t help but stress the idea that there’s no place like home. Ugh, I hate clichés but it’s so true. There’s nothing like the feeling of nostalgia when you’re back home hearing the rustling of the leaves or the crowing of the rooster in the morning. It might seem so corny but I enjoyed listening to the chirps of the crickets that I used to find so annoying when I was younger. DSC_0631I don’t really have to go too far but a few steps into my yard to enjoy some chill vibes. I never gave it much thought about how much I missed my home until I kicked my feet up and soaked up some good Santa Cruz evening sun.

It’s been about five years since I’ve been in Trinidad and it feels good to be home. It may seem like a short time, but so many things have changed since I’ve been here. Nonetheless, the one thing that has remained the same, is the relaxing and captivating floral and fauna around our yard.DSC_0639

DSC_0647Coming on this trip I was definitely looking forward to the mangoes, the oranges, the papaya but most of all I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on a coconut! A real coconut! Picked fresh from a tree in our backyard. Coconut tree

DSC_0533I probably had about three coconuts. The coconut water was so sweet, nothing like that force ripe artificial flavor in the coconut water from the grocery store. And the jelly, not too soft, not too hard, it was the perfect consistency!

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While my dreams, ambitions and potential may be greater now than I had ever imagined, I will always cherish and appreciate my small town Trinidadian roots. Once an island girl, always an island girl! 

I will do my best to take as much pictures as I can on this trip so stay tuned for more about my visit to beautiful Trinidad and Tobago.

In case you were wondering where in the world is Trinidad and Tobago, here’s a little perspective for ya. 

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Lifestyle | Spring Break Haul

Culture, Food, Lifestyle, Travel

Nature has been giving us a few sneak previews of the crisp air and warm sun that comes with Spring for the past couple weeks here in New York, but as we all know, you could never get too excited with this bipolar transition weather. But, it’s finally March 20th, Spring is here and I’m ready for it! My favorite season of the year. 

With every new season comes new fashion statements, makeup trends and new friends so I just had to do a collab with one of the most fashionable lifestyle bloggers I follow, the gorgeous Diva Named Dom. The self proclaimed cosmopolitan diva creates fashion, food, culture and lifestyle content that captivates her essence and desire to be the best version of herself.

Collab Feature | Domenique

Domenique’s blog and instagram feed has successfully maintained an attractive aesthetic to amass loyal readers who are always genuinely inspired by her content and originality. When she isn’t blogging, this Miami beauty enjoys relaxing at home spending quality time with her mother’s foster children and five Dachshunds. This spring, Domenique’s followers can definitely look forward to more amazing blogs and fascinating photography as she plans to shed her winter clothes and enjoy the fabulous Miami weather. Check out her latest post Spring Has Sprung.

What Have I Been Up To Lately?

2018 started off a bit rough for me but I’m finally getting my life under control. While trying to be a little more consistent with my blogging, I’ve also been tutoring part-time while still wrestling a crazy schedule this semester as I prepare to graduate in May, hopefully. Unfortunately, I’m about six credits shy of the required minimum necessary for graduation. However, through several appeals and permission from the English Department and the Registrar at Queens College, I have been permitted to attend commencement in May. Hooray for me! The pit of the prune is, I’ll have to return in the summer to do two classes to make up for my unfinished credits. Not too bad, right? I’ll knock those off by June.  

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That drama aside, spring blossoms also means Spring Break! Turn up or Nah? Throughout the past four years of school, I have never looked forward to Spring Break this much because I usually never go anywhere. This year though, I am destination ready headed for sand, sea and lots and lots of tropical sun. Although I didn’t go too crazy shopping for this spring break trip, I definitely picked up a few blog worthy affordable finds that I am excited to share with you. 

Mini Spring Break Haul

I absolutely fell in love with these cute flats the moment I found them. They seem so retro yet modern at the same time, a bit nostalgic, because I almost remember having a similar pair in brown as a kid. I also picked up these fab African inspired accessories that just brings out the Wakanda in me! And of course, you can’t go wrong with a good ole pair of trendy thrift store sunglasses.

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Getting a straw bag for a trip in the spring is an absolute must have. I was especially attracted to this reddish brown color not only because it matches these cute flat sandals and compliments my skin tone, but I also feel like the regular light tan straw bags are so ordinary. I’m a sucker for a good glow and some lashes so I just had to snatch up these Kiss ‘so wispy’ lashes and this Elf ‘sunglow’ illuminator. 

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I try my best to be a minimalist whenever I travel but I just gotta have a different shoe for every different outfit! So, the minimalist way to try to achieve this is to get the staple colors; white, brown and black. I can’t wait to get my toes freshly done to wear these gorg sandals. I also had to try these layered lashes from Kiss that I got on sale at a beauty supply store in Brooklyn, it was only $1! Can’t beat that bargain. I always get compliments on this floral embroidered crossbody bag so why not include it in the fun right? And it was only $13 on Amazon! Bargaaaaaaain!

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Shockingly I’ve become quite a sneakerhead lately. These suede mauve Reebok Classics are giving me so much life! I’m so looking forward to sporting them with my matching  headwrap this spring! My favorite sneaker brands at the moment are Reebok, Vans and Puma, mainly because they have so much unique colors in simple classic styles. 

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Last but not least, I just had to cop these crocodile hunter looking Under Armor sneakers for all the animal farm, camping, hiking and long walking trips that I plan to take this season. However, it’s just a shame that this picture isn’t doing this headwrap justice! I’m so looking forward to wrap my hair up in all its glittery and sparkly glory.

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I hope you guys enjoyed my quick mini spring break haul. Stay tuned for my travel updates within the next couple weeks, I promise you it will be amazing! Happy Spring! 

 

Skin Care | Winter Routine

Fashion, Health & Fitness, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

PicsArt_01-15-10.21.20I love discovering new skin care tips and ideas so it’s my pleasure to be sharing my affordable winter skin care routine this week in collaboration with one of my favorite beauty bloggers Emily Burns. Her blog emilyburnsmua features make up tips, reviews and tutorials where she inspires her followers’ make up techniques and creativity.

Collab Feature | Emily Burns

Although most of us look forward to the winter season for enjoying the holidays with family and friends and playing in the fluffy snow, for some of us it also means dry, itchy skin, cracked lips and ashy elbows and knees. The crisp winter cold can be so harsh on our skin, that we lose moisture at a much faster rate, leading to the weakening of the protective top layer. It is very important that we take extra care of our skin throughout these cold winter months focusing on ways to help keep our skin moist and protected.

MiraBelle’s Winter Skin Care Routine

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1. St. Ives Apricot Scrub $5.49USD

I absolutely love apricot scrubs. As a kid, I remember seeing my mom using St. Ives Apricot Scrub as part of her night time skin care routine, I guess the apricot doesn’t fall too far from the tree. This blemish control oil free scrub is a great way to exfoliate away dead skin, make up and dirt giving me a deep clean leaving my skin feeling fresh and smooth. This scrub helps treat and prevent my acne and blemishes and it has  also  helped minimize the appearance of pores on my cheeks and nose leaving my skin looking smoother and clearer over time.

2. Proactiv Revitalizing Toner $24.99USD

I know, I know, I shouldn’t be mixing products, but this is one of the few toners that has worked well with my skin. I have tried Neutrogena, Olay and Clean and Clear toners in the past however they didn’t do much for me. After my first 6 weeks of using this proactiv toner I noticed a significant difference in the evenness of my skin and complexion. Fortunately for me, during the winter I rarely break out so I prefer to use toner no more than twice a week to avoid dryness and irritation. On the other hand, during the summer months I would break out almost every day so I would ultimately use it every day as well. 

3. St. Ives Collagen Elastin Moisturizer $5.49USD

Oh the woes of combination skin! During the summer my skin would mostly be very oily, especially in my T-zone, but in the winter time, it’s the complete opposite, my T-zone can get very dry and itchy if I don’t moisturize well. I have discovered that although collagen moisturizers are mostly used to help combat the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, it’s also a great way to add suppleness and moisture to cracked and dried out winter skin. 

4. Aloe Vera Vaseline $1.49USD

One of my biggest winter skin problems is having dry, chapped and peeling lips. It’s so unattractive and uncomfortable. The top most layer of our skin is called the stratum corneum,  this layer of skin is far thinner on our lips than it is anywhere else on our body. Our lips also don’t have any sebaceous glands to keep our skin stay moisturized, so the only source of moisture is saliva. Thank goodness for the wonders of Vaseline! Any type of petroleum jelly can be used as a great moisturizer to help soothe and protect our precious stratum corneum. My favorite petroleum jelly used to be Vaseline’s cocoa butter jelly but now I’m absolutely loving the fragrance of the hydrating aloe vera version for my lips.

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1. Dove Beauty Cream Bar $1.29USD

I started using dove bar soaps and body washes three years ago and I have not turned back since. They’re so thick, creamy and luxurious. I usually buy the 12 -pack fragrance free bar soaps for sensitive skin for about $9.99USD but I always wanted to try this pink beauty bar version so I bought a single box at the beauty supply store and it works just as well. 

2. Vaseline Pure Baby Petroleum Jelly $5.99USD

Of course I must also use this magical wonder on my body as well. Every morning after my shower and every night before bed I massage Vaseline onto the soles of my feet, my knees, my elbows and my back to keep these areas that are prone to dryness soft and well moisturized. 

3. Lubriderm Daily Moisture $10.99USD

I definitely appreciate the non-greasy thick creaminess of Lubriderm’s lotions that leaves my skin feeling super moist and hydrated. This daily moisture lotion for normal to dry skin is enriched with vitamin B5 and mineral oils which helps naturally restore softness and brightness with every use. 

4. Bath & Body Works Body Lotion $13.50USD

Since I usually prefer to use fragrance free soaps and lotions, I always have scented options on hand for when I choose to indulge in the amazing scents that bath and body works has to offer. This sweet and sensual black current and vanilla lotion from their aromatherapy collection is genuinely therapeutic. I usually use this particular fragranced lotion when I’m having me-time spa days at home and even on special date nights, yes they smell that good.

I hope you enjoyed this detailed outline of my affordable and practical winter skin care routines! Don’t forget, this is a collaboration so go check out Emily’s blog about her skin care routine!

Skin Care | DIY Cinnamon Sugar Scrub

Health & Fitness, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

 

IMG_3165editWho doesn’t love some good DIY fun? Especially when it caters to our pampering and relaxation needs! Have you ever noticed those expensive sugar scrubs that are used in those fancy spas? You could probably even find them in your local department or beauty supply stores, but one thing is for certain, they definitely do wonders for your skin.  Natural homemade sugar scrubs are becoming a trend among beauty bloggers and this special recipe will surely convince you too. This recipe is a perfect remedy for that dry, itchy winter skin that we all dread so much and it also has natural anti-aging ingredients as well.

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Cinnamon Sugar Scrub Ingredients 

1/2 Cup Natural Brown Sugar Acts as an exfoliant to remove dirt and dead skin 

2 Tbsp Coconut Oil | Natural moisturizer with antibacterial and anti-fungal agents

1 Tbsp Olive Oil Fights wrinkles and helps soothe itchy, inflamed or damaged skin

2 Tbsp Cinnamon Mild acne and blemish treatment for sensitive skin and also helps restore suppleness and elasticity to the skin 

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After using this awesome easy DIY Cinnamon Sugar Scrub your skin is left feeling soft and silky smooth! You can even store your scrub in an air tight mason jar for up to five days. I absolutely loved making this affordable sweet scrub and it isn’t just for your face, you can use it in the shower to exfoliate your body and feet as well.

If you liked this DIY post try it, send me pics and tell me what you think! And don’t forget to like and share this blog with your friends. 

 

 

Happy Holidays| Single for the Holidays

Lifestyle, Relationships, Uncategorized

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Being single for the holidays had never made me more certain that I want to have a family of my own someday. I literally feel like the Christmas grinch, but instead of stealing Christmas, I am being forced into solitary confinement while everyone else spends a holly jolly Christmas with their loved ones. My instagram feed is a constant replay of mommies, daddies and their kiddies in ugly matching pajamas, baking stupid Christmas cookies and decorating their dumb gingerbread houses. Ughh it’s so sickening and yet I want it all. Around this time, 25 years ago my mom, who was also 25 at the time, was celebrating her first Christmas as a family with my father and I. Shouldn’t it be my turn by now?

I’ve always heard that Christmas is for the children, and I am starting to agree, without any little kiddies around me to buy presents for, it feels like just anther day. I don’t mean to seem shallow, obviously Christmas is more than just a holiday for gift giving but it’s one of the things I love most about the season. Sharing tokens of love, whether its cheesy hand made DIYs or the season’s hottest doorbusters, the gift of gift giving is the gift that just keeps on giving. Not that I could afford any gifts anyway, as a full-time college student working a minimum wage part-time job, although my gifts may be limited to the shabby chic sale items in my nearest department store, I’m still eager to wrap it up with love.

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What am I going to do this holiday since I’m still away from my parents home in Trinidad? Although I’m stuck in New York’s cold, I still have the opportunity to visit a nearby relative and enjoy her family for Christmas.

So how else do I plan to enjoy a fulfilling Christmas holiday this year? Here are my top 5 ideas for enjoying being single during the holidays:

  1. Visit a relative or close friend
  2. Plan and cook/bake your favorite meal or desert (doesn’t have to be fancy!)
  3. Load up on stocking stuffers (if you love affordable gift giving)
  4. Donate seasonal clothing and blankets to those who may need
  5. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

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I may really need to consider dating seriously for the new year. I’m trying to avoid setting it up as a new year’s resolution, cause surely, judging by my progress in the dating world, this may be a resolution bound to fail.

Travel | When Your AirBnB Sucks!

Lifestyle, Travel, Uncategorized

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Traveling to the Dominican Republic had been long over due. On the agenda since 2015, on November 18 I was finally making my way to Santo Domingo. Just a disclaimer though, the above picture is just for visual appeal, because my real air bnb sucked! 

I admit, I absolutely love the idea of the AirBnb app, its innovative, easy to use and offers travelers the opportunity to immerse themselves directly into the local lifestyle and culture. Nothing against the big chain hotels and resorts, but when I travel, I want a genuine experience and not all the over priced bells and whistles that mask your destination’s reality and beautiful grittiness.

While preparing to arrange a reservation to Santo Domingo for 9 nights and 10 days, I probably spent three weeks filtering through rooms looking for decent, clean accommodation at affordable rates. Keeping in mind that I was traveling out of the country for my surgical appointment with one of the best breast reduction surgeons in the region, Dr. Mallol, I had to adhere to my planned budget for accommodation which was around $22 – $30 bucks a night. I eventually, decided to book a quaint little one-bedroom apartment for my mom and I to share which cost us $220USD for our entire stay in Santo Domingo. Judging by the pictures, it wasn’t anything fancy, just decent and comfortable enough for my stay. Once I have a clean comfortable bed, air condition and wifi, I’ll be satisfied. 

Prior to leaving New York, our host and I exchanged conversations about her apartment, and the purpose of my visit. Having been informed about the reason for my trip to Santo Domingo she became concerned about my dirtying her sheets and towels. Apparently, according to her, she had had a bad experience with a guest who stayed in the apartment who also had surgery. Understanding her concerns I promised in advance to be very careful not to damage any of her property. 

After my tediously draining 4-hour flight, I was finally on my way to my Airbnb, I had never been so excited to just crash into bed and sleep. Our host was very polite and she spoke English really well too. Opening the door to the apartment she began mentioning–as if she had only just remembered, “Oh, we are in a electricity controlled district. The power shuts off every day for a couple hours.” I wasn’t too bothered, although it didn’t concern me until it actually happened. 

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The next morning at about 10am the power shut off, and with that we had no air condition, no wifi, no sanity! The room became so humid and clustered that my mom sat out on the porch until the power came back on. My second day in the country and I’m getting the true experience of life in the Dominican Republic. I just wished she had mentioned this in her AirBnB ad. It’s ironic how one problem brought light to all the things that was wrong in the apartment. 

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Apart from the daily power loss, our host also chose not to provide sheets or towels. How in the world can you host a guest at your home and not give them sheets or towels? We also didn’t have hot water in the shower, and this wasn’t due to the power loss, the hot water didn’t work period! I know I said that I liked experiencing my trips in all it’s authenticity, but this was a little to real for me! At least she was courteous enough to have the maintenance come to try to fix the water heater. 

crocAnd I say ‘try’ because yet still on the fourth day of our stay we still didn’t have hot water. Imagine being hot and sticky with no air condition while also being to scared to take a shower in the icy cold water. We ended up having to boil pans of water to bathe which my mother hated greatly. 

When the going gets tough the tough gets going! On the fifth day yet another problem came up, the wifi stopped working. Our trip was beginning to suck, suck really bad! I was extremely disappointed. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but I was beginning to like our host lesser and lesser with each passing day.

Not sure if this was just a way for her to make a quick buck, but the business of hospitality management isn’t for everyone. Taking on the responsibility of being a host to foreign visitors should be taken seriously, after all I did pay cold, hard cash. Had I just been staying there for free I wouldn’t complain. Shouldn’t there be certain standards that these hosts adhere to? I totally understand being in an electricity controlled district, it’s really not her fault, however hosts need to be held accountable for their integrity and honesty on their AirBnB ads. She could have inserted a disclaimer explaining the  true conditions of her apartment. I get it, it would probably affect potential guests interests, but you can’t advertise bread and cheese sandwiches and only serve bread! 

It all became a little too overwhelming, I had to check out of her sham of a lodging earlier than planned if I wanted to maintain my sanity. I contacted AirBnB for a refund for the balance of my reservation. I did appreciate though that our host wasn’t resistant and aggressive about our decision to leave. 

dreams-la-romana-resort-and-spa-23152457-1505313478-ImageGalleryLightboxLargeI definitely still stand by what I say, I always hope to have an authentic experience when I travel but I also like to know in advance what I’m getting myself into. So I guess when your AirBnb sucks you may find yourself having to upgrade to the fancy shmancy perks that I claim to not prefer, yet I will admit that perks aren’t so bad after all. Room service, breakfast buffet, housekeeping with clean fresh sheets and towels–I think I could get used to luxury traveling. Although, the last minute change of plans did put a major dent in my budget. Four nights and five days at the W&P Hotel cost us about $490USD, but when you consider all the carefree benefits, its a cost that’s worth affording. Bare in mind, I did say worth ‘affording’, because why stretch your budget if you’re going to go back home broke? 

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Who knows, maybe on my next adventure I will spring for the bells and whistles in advance. I really love traveling and I hope it’s something I could incorporate into my life at least once a year. Next destination on my bucket list is Costa Rica! 

Senior Year | Fall Midterm Jitters

Education, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

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So I am finally a senior! It’s been five long years and I am so ready to cross that finish line. This year was supposed to be smooth sailing, I’d planned to finally have a social life, go parties, make friends, go out on dates and everything fun. Oh boy how was I fooling myself. As an English major I’m just stuck reading books and writing papers all day. I’m finding myself working overtime to get my gpa up after a horrible first year at Queens College.

My dedication throughout my first two years at community college rewarded me with my AA degree in Literature and Writing Arts and a 3.4  gpa but sadly life at a small school like Borough of Manhattan Community College was nothing life at Queens College. The classes are bigger, the work load is significantly heavier and the professors are less likely to make accommodations for the everyday circumstances of life. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t assholes but I’d wished someone would have warned me that things were gonna be so different.

Last year I when I started school at QC, I wanted to be involved on campus, I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself, I wanted to be a sorority girl! I thought it would have been a great way to make friends and build life long connections, someone should have also told me that Greek Life, given my age, personality and circumstances, wasn’t the way to go. I was a 24-year old pledge among bubbly playful 18 and 19 year olds but I figured that some way, some how we could still build a bond beyond the constraints of age. Wrong again! I was able to become acquainted with a few of the girls, I had a mom, a big and a twin of whom I was happy to get to know and love but after being unable to afford to pay dues, I saw our friendship fade away. I never became a sister but at least I thought the girls in my pledge class would still be willing to be my friend but, you guessed it, wrong! I was so disappointed, and looking back now, I’m disappointed in myself that I allowed that situation to affect my mood and also my gpa. I even tried to pledge again in the spring when I was more prepared financially but, they didn’t give me a bid, denied! I thought at least I would get a bid because they knew me and we did get to build some kind of connection, but maybe paying for friends wasn’t the way to go.

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It’s fall again, and no, I’m not pledging but I did join the yearbook club and I have been trying to be present at meetings however the schedule of a working college student isn’t as free as the average college kid. I can’t believe it’s almost midterm of my senior year already and the jitters are here too. I hate to admit it but I have been sucking up and kissing ass lately. I need these As! Do you know that you need at least a 2.0 gpa to graduate? Having a 1.7 gpa and being on academic probation really puts the odds against me but fortunately there’s a great possibility that my two INC grades  from the spring may be a bitter sweet opportunity to push my gpa over the borderline. It’s not going to be easy but I am determined to get all As this semester. My math isn’t all that great, but if my calculations are correct, if I get at least three As this semester and 3 As next semester I will be able to graduate with at least a 3.0, not too shabby for a girl who spent both of her entire junior and senior years on academic probation right?

Hope without work yields no results so I need to be consistent in my efforts toward my academic success. Although it seems like I may never get the oh so amazing college experience that I’ve always wanted, I value my long term success way more than a few shallow friendships and frat parties.

Love on the Brain | Love on the App?

Lifestyle, Relationships, Uncategorized

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Dating apps? Has it really come to this? Am I that deep under my rock that I have to resort to swiping through virtual perceptions of people instead of interacting with real ones the way “normal” people do? I can’t help but feel alien on this thing. Obviously I shouldn’t because there are tons of profiles to scrutinize, yet I can’t shake that feeling of queerness. Is it realistic to think that I can find a serious relationship or are these apps just a quick easy way to find casual hook ups.

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So there are options to describe what you’re looking for on the POF dating app;

  • hang out
  • long term
  • dating
  • friends

and then there’s another section describing your intent;

  • I’m looking for casual dating/No commitment
  • I want to date but nothing serious
  • I want a relationship
  • I’m putting in serious effort to find someone
  • I am serious and I want to find someone to marry

If I were to be honest I would say I’m in it for the long term because I am serious and I want to find someone to marry yet that seems so desperate and needy right? Am I overthinking this?

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I ended up selecting long term/I want a relationship but I still felt like the guys who messaged me were just interested in a one night stand, if long term, they probably just wanted a friend with benefits. I would think that they’d read my profile before messaging me to assume the likeliness of compatibility, but the majority of them would always end up asking “So what are you looking for?” That question was the red flag for me, clearly I spent time filling out this profile for a reason!

While most of the guys did appear to be just f%#k boys, I did come across a few decent, well-mannered, respectable men. Although they could just be putting up a front, I am doing my best to try to be a little more optimistic.

I was quite nervous but I still decided I’d dip my toes in the lady pond, although I had never been in a relationship with a woman, I have often experienced those sweaty palm, tingly feelings that I’ve swept under the rug for years. When again would I find a better, less revealing opportunity to flirt and meet women? I did notice that the women I’ve come across aren’t as forward as the guys. For ratio’s sake, I’d probably gotten ten messages from men for every one message from a woman. I am so used to guys pursuing me that I can’t seem to find what to say when I want to spark a conversation with another woman. It was very strange.

Over the past couple weeks swiping through “my matches” have become less and less queer. I have grown to actually find fun in browsing through this online dating buffet. I like some, skip some, reject some, ignore some, respond to some, I even had to put some guys in check who didn’t seem to know their place. It’s only been a week, I haven’t found anyone to meet up with in person yet, but it might not be long. I have been flirting with a few people, and even if they don’t work out, there is still more potential out there, just a swipe away.